Dr. Romance (left) and Richard at the pyramids of Giza
The fabulous Dr. Romance (aka Tina Tessina, Ph.D.) and I met on the Crown Princess a few weeks back, when she was a panelist on the Romance Summit. A licensed psychotherapist in private practice in southern California since 1978, she’s the author of 13 books, including Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage and How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free.
Married for over 25 years, she and her husband have traveled all around the world (for the entirety of 1998, in fact, as dance instructors on the Crystal Symphony), and have lived happily to tell the tale(s).
Here are the Doctor’s tips for how you two can do the same:
Travel is exciting, and as hardworking couples we have expectations of taking a break and having fun…but there can be a downside.
Couples are often surprised when their trip degenerates into bickering and power struggles, but it’s pretty common. In order to avoid these pitfalls, couples need to focus on making their plans as realistic as possible.
Plan your trip together. Take both partners’ wants into consideration. For instance, if one of you likes physical activities (e.g., hiking, swimming, fishing) and the other likes learning about history and art, make a plan that includes both.
Make a budget and stick to it. To prevent fights about money, set limits on spending for food, entertainment and shopping before you leave for your trip, and then make a united effort to stay within your budget while you’re away. (Note from TWT: Adam and I love the Mint.com iPhone app for tracking our expenses on the go.)
Check in with each other. Regularly asking each other how it’s going, how you feel, and whether you need a break from activities can help you both avoid squabbles, frustration and irritation.
Plan to spend time together and time apart. On vacation, we tend to be in confined spaces: hotel rooms, ship’s cabins, airplanes and cars. You may find this is too claustrophobic, so plan to take occasional breaks from one another. When there are different things you like, doing them separately can give each of you a much-needed break, reduce tension, and refresh your shared time.
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Visit the Dr. Romance Blog for more information on how to strengthen your relationship,
and be sure to read about the Dr.’s extensive travels with her husband, Richard.
For more tips follow her on Facebook and Twitter!
I agree, having time out from each other while on holidays is a great idea. We recently traveled to the United States, but before leaving home (Australia) my partner made plans to meet up with a mate who by coincidence was going to be in Vegas at the same time as us! I admit, at first I thought “what, we’re going on a family trip of a lifetime and you want to hang out with your mates?!” I’m glad I bit my tongue because later that day I realized he was going to be spending more non-stop time with the kids and I then he had since… and I was also planning on attending a conference which would be my time out. I realized the break would do us all good. And it did
We made sure the kids had a break from each other too. It was an awesome trip!