Here’s what I like to call “The Travel-Planning Patience Tester”:
You’re working, but maybe your parent/in-law isn’t; he/she possibly has all the time on Earth to regale you with daily questions about travel minutiae until you think you might lie down and die. Your partner’s on a deadline/in school/building a startup, but your elder is impatient for his/her thoughts about the perfect hotel where he/she might be sleeping…some months hence.
The good news? You can avoid this justifiable cause for homicide with a 12-step game plan.
1) Each couple should appoint a Planning Point Person (PPP).
2) By phone, each PPP should discuss options for destinations* and schedules**.
This initial phone call might feel like a large investment of time, but at this early stage, the back-and-forth of IM or email will only be maddening.
*Re: Destinations → Pick a place you’d really like to see, but not your trip of a lifetime.
**Re: Schedules → 3-4 days is ideal, one week is plenty.
3) After coming up with some options, decide on an agreeable time to reconvene by phone.
4) In the meantime, each PPP should briefly and concisely consult their own spouse/partner about the choices on the table and determine preferences. Take notes so you don’t have to do this twice.
5) Reconvening by phone, PPPs should discuss the results of their separate consultations.
Before you finish this call, the goal is to find a mutually agreeable destination and schedule, and to divvy up research responsibilities.
The destination and schedule now chosen, each PPP should:
6) Book their own couple’s flights
7) Choose two of these to research:
- attractions that may require advance reservations (e.g., museums, restaurants, day tours, etc.)
- side trips that require navigation
- rental cars and/or trains
- accommodations***
***Re: Accommodations for a parents/couples trip:
Look for lodgings within walking distance of something interesting and try to book rooms that don’t share a wall. Distance thing = flexibility and vehicle-free wandering. Wall thing = (hopefully) self-explanatory.
8)Each PPP should organize their research in a single email and send it within one week.
Schedule an agreeable day for the other PPP to receive this email so that they’ll know to expect it and be able to make time to respond to questions/make decisions within 72 hours.
9) Each PPP should now book the stuff they were responsible for researching.
10) Assign one PPP the task of writing up all the final details as a single, brief itinerary:
- Each couple’s airlines and flight schedules
- Rental car reservation number, company and vehicle type
- Hotel(s) (with web links, if applicable)
- A list of any scheduled activities/reservations
11) Email this to the whole group so that everyone knows the final schedule and general details.
Without this itinerary, picture scrambling and last-minute phone calls as everyone tries to simultaneously coordinate details and extricate themselves gracefully from work and home.
12) Avoid reconfirming details of the trip until about two weeks before it’s due to happen.
Talking the trip’s details to death once they’ve been decided is a sure way to kill excitement.
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Hooray! Your trip is all planned and should be a great one.
Just in case, though, stay tuned for:
How to Travel with Your Parents (Or Someone Else’s)
Is this an invitation or am I confusing the dancer with the dance?